The HULK

In light of  Enzo's recent behavior adjusting to being a big brother, I have started lovingly referring to him as "The Hulk". I've never seen the movie, but I recently saw the Avengers and Enzo reminds me of the part in the movie where Mark Ruffalo's character (I don't even know his name, isn't  he a doctor or something?)  refers to the not so nice version of himself as "the other guy." My last blog post was definitely written about Enzo's "other guy."  We had a week from you-know-where where "the other guy" was seen nearly all the time. This is what his head looked like after he continually hit it against the wall for two days when we wouldn't give him his way or let him hit us.

Yes, that is a red and yellow bruise in the middle, surrounded by a purple triangle goose egg.

But Enzo is normally such a fun, happy, and relatively well behaved kid, and I'm happy to report that the Hulk is being kept well in check.  The only time we've seen him recently was when we had about 30 people at our house for Adalina's blessing and it was late in the afternoon after a long day of no nap, chaos, and lots of attention on baby sister. Other than that, and of course the few normal 2-year old moments, my wonderful, happy child who I love has returned. 

He's sleeping through the night again on most nights (which hasn't happened since his last hospital trip right before Adalina was born), he sometimes surprises us with random incredible politeness ("Mommy, I'm all done with my chicken nugget, may I please have another one?" and when I told him this morning his Aunt Carrie was bringing back his lost shoe, he said, "I give her a BIG HUG and say 'Thank you SO much!'") and he even has a new acceptable temperature for that darn cup of milk.  Since the HULK week, Enzo has not been allowed to have milk in his "pirate bedroom." It was needed anyway since he shoudn't be drinking milk at night for the sake of teeth hygiene and soon-to-happen potty training. If you ask him, his plans are to "say bye-bye to diapers (and owies) after Uncle Matt gets marwied" (which is tomorrow) and he will even go poo-poo in the potty "at Disney-wand" (where we are going, yet again, next week when we go down for my brother's California wedding reception.)

But back on topic, he hasn't had milk in his room for a couple of weeks.  Instead, he can drink it on the couch or sometimes in Mommy's bed. A couple of nights ago, after Enzo miraculously went to sleep easily at 8:00 (without coming out of his room and without someone falling asleep in there with him,) James and I were laying in bed about to fall asleep around 11 or so, when we heard the refrigerator door close. We weren't sure if we heard correctly until we heard the little chugging-slurping sound Enzo makes when he sucks out the last drops of milk from his sippy cup.  Enzo, who had been told when he went to sleep that he wouldn't be getting any milk in the middle of the night, had woken up, opened the refrigerator, and had gotten his own cup of milk out to drink.  James went out and found him drinking it out the couch - COLD, straight from the fridge. After getting him settled into bed, he told us to both leave (he usually wants Daddy to stay with him) and we went back to sleep - only to hear the fridge door close again, and then a little voice at our door, "My milk is all gone, get me some more." (No politeness in the middle of the night.) My little stinker figured how to work around the milk ban without any help at all - and when pressed, with no other option, cold milk has become perfectly acceptable.  (Of course, that temperature was no longer acceptable when I tried to give it to him cold in the morning - oh well.)

There are other signs that the Hulk is gone and we have our good ol' Enzo back.  One of them is how cute he is with Adalina. One of his favorite things to do is take pictures of her.  I hold the camera and he clicks the button a gazillion times.  (I think we are going to get him a real kid-friendly camera that he can use all by himself, and then use it as potty training motivation - since he is highly motivated by rewards.) We are still having a hard time teaching him how to be soft with her- but he tries. He will sometimes be found gently rubbing her head, saying "I do it sof-wy." Other times, however, we find him yanking on her arm - usually trying to pick her up or pull her onto his stomach while laying on the floor. He loves to hold her this way.

He also will no longer take a bath without her. He likes to help wash her, but he especially loves to pour water on her.  I think it's his way of doing something he considers naughty - and not get in trouble for.  Just like when he got to shoot her with his bubble gun.

 She got covered in bubbles.

But he loved the opportunity to torment his sister and not get in trouble. Look at this little mischievous face:

The most shocking improvement in his behavior, though, has been in getting him to go bed - at night or for a nap.  He thinks he doesn't need a nap, and can get away easily without one until 3 or 4 in the afternoon, which by then is much to late for successful night sleeping - and is usually a recipe for the Hulk to reappear.  So I borrowed one of these for the summer from one of my friends at my old school:

 

It's basically a visual timer.  The top of the timer is green for however long you set it and will change to red when the time is up.  It will also turn to a flashing yellow for a warning time if you want.  It has been miraculous.  For naps, all I do is tell Enzo to go play in his "Pirate Bedroom" and set the timer.  I put it out of his reach, since he's happy to turn it off himself and tell me it has gone to red.  He gets to play in his room as long as the timer is green, and gets to come out when it is red.  (He doesn't have a concept of colors down well enough for me to bother with the warning yellow yet.) Inevitably, however, he will play a little while and then lay down in his bed to watch the timer, which is in his closet at the end of the bed. And then he falls asleep - without once coming out of his room, calling for me, whining, crying, or anything.  He just goes to sleep. It. Is. AMAZING.  It has also worked at night for the last couple of nights.  It first worked for me when James wasn't home.  I read him two stories, left the timer on, and never heard from him again.  I was a little iffy about it working with James home, since Enzo loves his Daddy and wants to play with him all the time, which is half the battle of getting him to bed.  But last night, I told James what to do, he put Enzo to bed and set the timer - and he just went to sleep.  Of course, it may not last, since Enzo likes variety and we have to change things up often.  But I am currently sitting here enjoying quiet alone time while Enzo takes a nap I didn't even tell him to take.  And I LOVE it.  The only draw back of this timer is that I can only set it in time increments of 5 minutes - but I also borrowed this one from another teacher:

 

As soon as I get the correct batteries, we will try it out, since I think I can set a more precise time on this bigger one.  (Someone left the bubbles on the bubble gun and put it in the same cupboard as a whole Costco pack of batteries - where it fell over and ruined the whole pack.  Ugh, I hate when my scatterbrained-ness ends up in disaster.)

We've also recently started trying some Love and Logic tactics, which have been helping as well.  For example, I ask Enzo, "Would you like one story or two before bed time?"  Of course, he picks two.  I then ask him if he would like to walk on his own feet into his bed or on Mommy's - of course he picks Mommy's, and then he loves walking to his room with his feet on top of mine, instead of kicking and screaming that I am carrying him in there.  I am also giving him less warnings and more immediate consequences - which helps him know I mean business.  I carry him to his room for time out when I have to facing away from me - which somehow helps him to fight me less, and keeps me from getting hit and kicked.  I just set him in his room, tell him he can come out when he is ready to______fill in the blank (be nice, stop hitting, eat his food, follow the rules, etc.) and then I walk away.  If he comes out without complying, I simply do it again.  But most of the time, when he comes out a minute or so later, he is happy to behave and I don't have the problem anymore. 


I also have some great goals of getting more organized.  When we get back from our trip to California, I have plans on getting Enzo on a schedule. I will print off visuals for parts of our daily activities so that Enzo knows what to expect - and let him help pick parts of his day when I can.  That way he knows when "quiet time" is, play-lone time, learn with Mommy time, etc.  Then I can also limit his TV and computer use by referring to the schedule - or only using them as rewards.  I also plan on giving him chores, which I think he will really like to help him feel important.  He loves to mop the floor with our swiffer mop, so I plan on making daily spot mopping a required chore for him - and then diligently teaching him how I want it done so he can soon do it himself.  Other things I think he will be able to do with a little teaching are cleaning bathroom counters, setting the table, putting away the silverware, putting away all of the plastic dishes (which I will buy so he can set the table with them), matching socks ,folding wash cloths and putting away his own clothes when I do the laundry, etc.  I think the responsibility will help him feel important, keep him busy, and teach him how to do things around the house, which his future wife will love some day. 

So basically, life is good.  The HULK has gone into hibernation, and will hopefully only make very infrequent reappearances.  His sister consistently sleeps for a 5-6 hour stretch at night, and even slept for 7 hours last night.  I feel so much better than I have in a long time- more sleep, more energy, more motivation, more optimism, and lots of goals for improvement.  Life is good.